I have often wondered why it is that when we our stressed, worn out, exhausted, however you want to put it, we so easily become self-absorbed, focusing only on our own agendas and not paying nearly enough attention to the needs and wants of others around us. As a mother of three small children, I can assure you that this scenario happens much more frequently than it should. Obviously I know that there are going to be the occasional times when I just "need a moment." That should not be the norm for me as a wife and mother though. My first priority in those roles should be meeting the needs of my family.
I've been thinking lately about how fast time seems to go by. It is so hard for me to believe sometimes that Michael will be turning five this year...in five days, to be exact. On the other hand, as I've mentioned before, some days I feel every bit of those five years! Now that Lexi and Leah have arrived on the scene, things have gotten a little more hectic around here, not that I would trade that for anything. But I do wonder sometimes if Jon and I as parents have done the best that we could have in regards to teaching and training these little ones so far. Having been a parent now for five years, I'm fairly confident that at some point every parent probably asks themselves this same question. It's not like babies come with user manuals! :) Every child is different and comes with different "issues" for lack of a better way of putting it. For instance, I can tell you that Michael is the most stubborn of my three children to date, Lexi is an instigator, and Leah...well, she's still mommy's little angel of course! :) I'm still trying to fully figure out her personality, not to say she doesn't occasionally cause trouble-an art I'm sure she will learn to perfect.
I wonder what things will be like around here when Michael starts school in the Fall. Sure there will be less noise during the day, less running around probably, and less baseball throwing around the TV while our backs are turned (that I'm sure I'll miss!). Because of the way our schedules work out, Jon and I are able to work full time and still be home all but one or two days a week with the kids, and on those days our sister-in-law keeps them for us. So far we have been able to control the environments that they have been in, so you can imagine my hesitancy to turn over the reigns of my child's education to a complete stranger who knows nothing about him. That is where I have been reminded that what a child is taught in the home is so important at this age, hence leading me to the question: How have I redeemed the time that I have been given to instruct, correct, and nurture? What do we need to work on in the next several months specifically? How can I take the focus off of myself and apply it to the needs of all three of my kids, not just Michael? I have come to the stunning conclusion that my life is not all about me. I know that may shock some of you...some people find it funny that, even though I sometimes love some attention, I despise being in the real spotlight. And yet it it so hard sometimes to be the same way personally. I don't want to be in front of a group of people to save my life, but I can put myself on my own little pedestal in my heart and that's ok? It may sound obvious, but in order to focus my efforts and attention on others they can't be on me. I would love nothing more than to be able to look back at this short time that we have with our kids while they are young, and be able to say that we have done our best redeeming the time that we have been given.
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